Live from Planet Frystar

7. The Smoaklin Hustle

Galek had dealt with a lot of nonsense today. A half-destroyed ship, a talking smoaklin, rent problems, and the ever-present voice in his head narrating his suffering.

But what happened next?

Oh, this was next-level nonsense.

A Business Opportunity?

Grint clasped his hands together, grinning like a corrupt politician.

"Alright, little fella, how about this? I bring you in as an official security system, slap a fancy name on you-'Tactical Bio-Security Module' or something-and we make a fortune together!"

The smoaklin rubbed its grimy hands together. "Hmm. I do like fortune."

"At this point, Galek should have intervened. He should have stopped this. But instead, he just watched, powerless, as two of the universe's most chaotic entities engaged in high-stakes business negotiations."

Galek blinked. "Oh no."

Grint nodded enthusiastically. "See? You get it. We'll charge premium rates for 'personalized security solutions', which, by the way, is just a fancy way of saying you'll break into ships, and then we'll charge people to fix the damage."

The smoaklin stroked its filthy little chin. "I do like breaking things."

Galek threw his hands up. "NO! You're NOT starting a security scam with my landlord!"

"Galek's protests, as usual, went completely ignored."

Grint, now fully invested in his own nonsense, pulled out a cheap-looking credit chip.

"Listen, kid, I'm willing to pay you upfront. That's how serious I am about this investment."

The smoaklin's tiny black eyes sparkled with mischief. "Upfront, huh?"

Grint nodded. "Five thousand credits. Right now. A signing bonus. Just to get started."

Galek sputtered. "F-FIVE THOUSAND?!"

"This was a particularly devastating moment for Galek, who had just realized his landlord was willing to pay a soot-covered rat more than he had ever lowered his rent."

The smoaklin nodded sagely. "Mmm. I suppose I could consider it. On one condition."

Grint leaned in. "Name it."

The smoaklin grinned, a horrible, toothy thing. "Make the transfer first."

A Silence Fell Over the Room

For a brief moment, Galek actually thought Grint was going to think this through.

That the gears in his slimy landlord brain would click into place, that he'd recognize the obvious trap being set for him.

But no.

Grint pulled out his personal credit chip and made the transfer on the spot.

Galek's jaw dropped. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE THIS STUPID."

"Indeed, it was an impressive feat of stupidity."

The smoaklin held the chip for exactly three seconds. Then, with the reflexes of a trained thief, it tucked the credits into its tiny ragged vest and disappeared into the ceiling vents.

Gone.

Vanished.

Never to be seen again.

Grint stared.

Galek stared.

The smoaklin was already long gone.

Silence.

Then:

"...THAT LITTLE-"

A Very Loud Argument

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT, ZIM!" Grint bellowed, pointing furiously at Galek.

"My fault?!" Galek snapped. "I TOLD YOU NOT TO PAY HIM UPFRONT, BUT NOOO, YOU WERE TOO BUSY BEING A CORPORATE GREMLIN YOURSELF!"

Grint was fuming. "DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MONTHS OF YOUR RENT THAT WAS?!"

"YEAH, FIVE!" Galek shouted. "WHICH YOU'VE NEVER LET ME PAY OFF WITH ACTUAL CREDITS, BY THE WAY!"

"The scene unfolding was less of a professional business dispute and more of a badly organized reality show."

Grint grabbed a wrench from the workbench.

"THAT'S IT. I'M TEARING THIS PLACE APART UNTIL I FIND HIM!"

"NO, YOU'RE NOT!"

"YES, I AM!"

Galek jumped in front of his workbench. "IF YOU TOUCH MY TOOLS, I SWEAR TO-"

At that exact moment, a distant cackling echoed from the vents.

Then, a final, haunting message from the smoaklin:

"SUCKERRRRRS!!!"

And just like that, it was gone forever.

The Aftermath

Fifteen minutes later, after a lot of screaming and failed vent searching, Grint had finally given up.

The landlord slumped onto a pile of old engine parts, muttering to himself. "Stupid rat. Stupid security scam. Stupid... everything."

Galek leaned against the workbench, arms crossed, staring at him.

"Well. I think we both learned something valuable today," Galek said dryly.

Grint shot him a glare. "Yeah? What's that?"

Galek smirked. "I'm not the dumbest person in this shop anymore."

"It was, truly, a moment of personal victory."

Grint picked up a loose metal bolt and threw it at him.